


I Want to Help

by Whittakerjodie



Series: 13th Doctor X Reader [5]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, This lady needs tHERAPY, but we can hug her and make her feel better since no one else is, we can't give her therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22427872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whittakerjodie/pseuds/Whittakerjodie
Summary: The Doctor tells the Reader what happened in Gallifrey.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Reader, Thirteenth Doctor/You
Series: 13th Doctor X Reader [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613002
Comments: 5
Kudos: 50





	I Want to Help

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on my tumblr, WhittakerJodie. Fic requests can be made there, thank you for reading!

She was shaken, you were shaken, everyone was purely _shaken._ The Doctor- to you and the other companions- had always been your sun; You orbited around her, soaking in all of her energy until you felt like you’d pass out from the rush. The last adventure had started out without challenging that fact. You got to dress up and go to a fancy party. You got to meet the Doctors mysterious new friend Oh. But the fun fell off a figurative cliff and the Doctor just as soon did a 180, channeling a side of herself that you’d never seen.

All of a sudden, she was serious, angry, _frightening_ , almost. All because of Oh, who turned out to be an old friend of hers named the Master. Something about the encounter was still stuck on her weeks later. Yaz had you promise to check in on her before the Doctor dropped you off at home, since it was typically the last stop she made. You agreed, and now you found yourself moments away from prodding the elephant in the room.

You could feel that the TARDIS stopped moving, indicating that you were just outside of where you lived. Or inside, depending on where she’d decided to park. You watched the Doctor carefully, waiting for her to look at you. You at least wanted her to give you a hug goodbye, like she always did. But she was staring down at the console, busying herself with a (likely imaginary) problem.

“Doctor?” You asked awkwardly. She nodded, but you could tell she wasn’t listening. You repeated yourself. She looked up this time, brow furrowed. You took a leap of faith across the unspoken barrier between the two of you, making your way towards her. She was still confused. Normally you would’ve found it cute, but now you thought it was oddly… sad.

“Did I land us at the wrong time?” She asked.

“No, Doctor, it’s perfect.” You pointed to the stairs. “Will you sit with me for a second?”

She nodded hesitantly, eyes scanning you as she tried to piece together everything you were thinking. You let her sit down first, waiting until she was comfortable to follow. You wrung your hands nervously, trying to think of how to best approach her situation. You didn’t want to push her away and ruin what the two of you had.

“I know you told us about yourself, but I can’t help but think there’s a little bit more to it than that. You haven’t been yourself. “ You could see her shrink a little, and worry bubbled up inside of you. “I don’t want to push you or pry into things I shouldn’t I just- I want to help.”

She lifted her head up slightly as if looking at the TARDIS console for comfort. A tear slipped down her cheek and you caught it, wiping it off her cheek. She let out a shaky breath and gently grasped your hand.

“My planet, Gallifrey, the one I mentioned… A long time ago, there was a war. A terrible, awful war. The Time War. Whole planets and even galaxies were burned in the fight between the timelords and a race called the Daleks. I made a decision to-” Another tear fell from her cheek, followed by a slow stream of them that you couldn’t wipe away.

“Doctor,” You whispered. “It’s alright.”

“I made a decision to end the war, by destroying the planet. Destroying… my people.” You couldn’t deny the horror that crawled its way up your throat, but you tried desperately to shove it down. _Let her finish._

“Then a couple hundred years later, I was able to go back, save them and end the war. I saved them, Y/N, I swear it, I _swear_ it-” She was getting more frantic, and you reached out for her shoulders to stabilize her as best you could. She slumped, easily falling into your arms as sobs racked her body. “ _I tried so hard_ ”

You felt your own tears fall down your cheeks and onto her lilac coat. You only had one heart and the way it was breaking hurt more than a thousand cuts. How could she survive after breaking both like this? You smoothed her hair down, holding her tighter and whispering sweet words into her ear. You felt her voice vibrate against your chest and leaned back to let her talk.

“They’re gone, Y/N. They’re gone again and it’s all his fault this time.” _The Master_ , you growled inwardly, making the connection. Your hatred for him resurfaced and escalated into an inferno, one which only made you grip the Doctor tighter. You forced yourself to focus back on her, tucking your need for vengeance into the back of your mind. You gently kissed her temple, only to cry out in pain as you were thrown into a different place entirely.

You whirled around, trying to figure out what was going on. Your heart raced but- somehow, off in the distance and simultaneously inside of you, you could also feel four more beats. _What is this?_ Everything was collapsing in on you and you couldn’t distinguish between what you were feeling and who the other emotions present belonged to _._

When you finally willed your limbs to stop moving, your eyes widened. The image only lasted for a second. It was an enormous city, filled with architecture unlike any you’d ever seen… and it was _decimated._

Then you slammed back into your body, shutting your eyes to the bright light pounding into your retinas.

“Y/N? **Y/N?**!” The pain was subsiding, but you were still panting and gritting your teeth. You were vaguely aware of the Doctor above you, feeling your pulse frantically. You pushed out into random space, hands landing on her arms. You blinked and let yourself become re-familiarized with where you were.

“Doctor…? What was that?” She had stopped crying, but the grief was still buried deep in her eyes.

“It was Gallifrey,” She whispered. She helped you sit up, draping her coat around you. “I was distracted and I accidentally established a psychic link. Y/N, I’m so _, so_ sorry”

You felt your heart tear a little at the way her already present grief and guilt now had worry added on top of it. Every fiber of you screamed _its okay, its okay, **I’m** okay, now It’s your turn_

“It’s okay, Doctor. It was just… a lot. “ Most of the pain and disorientation had subsided, leaving only a small headache and the ghost of Gallifrey in ruins.

“Doctor, I’m so sorry this has happened. I felt how you feel, and I’m not sure how to put it into words but I’m sorry. I’m also sorry that you felt like hiding this from me or any of us. “

“I didn’t want you all to be worried”

“But Doctor, we’re okay with being worried; We want to know what’s going on and how we can help. It’s what friends do and you’re our friend. We love you.”

She let out another shaky sob, closing in on herself again, as if she couldn’t let herself absorb your words.

“Let us love you, Doctor. Let us help”

You once again pulled her into your arms, listening to her quietly whisper ‘Thank you” over and over again until you could hear her no longer and it was just the two of you silently holding one another.


End file.
